Hi Everyone,
I had a meeting this evening that ended with us talking about questions and how important they are. Now that might sound like a strange topic but questions really do guide our thoughts and our lives. How? Good question!
1. They determine the direction that the conversation is moving toward.
2. They place limits on information. For example, if you ask a child how their day in school went, you often get "Fine" or "Good." Ask them a more open ended question and youget a more detailed answer.
Sometimes we don't ask enough. One of the people at the meeting lost his cell phone
this week and asked the provider if he could get a free replacement. They said he couldn't. Someone else at the meeting said he didn'task enough. He might have asked what he had to do to get a free one which might only have involved extending his contract for another year.
3. They determine our mood. Ask yourself a question like, "Why does everything always happen to me?" or what I consider one of the worst questions to ask yourself, "What elsecould go wrong?"
The funny or not so funny thing about these questions is that our brain answers them. Do you really want to know the answer to why everything always happens to you or what else could go wrong?
When I was teaching my Strategies of Success class, I devoted a couple of lessons to the power of questions. We worked at coming up with questions that improved our day and the students often competed for the 'best question.
Here are some of our favorites:
1. What am I grateful for?
2. What made me smile today?
3. What cool thing is going to happen today?
Asking questions opens the door to our minds. What questions are you asking yourself? Are they improving your day or adding to your daily stress?
What good questions might you ask? Send me your favorites and I'll share them!
What can you do after you read this that will either make your day or someone elses?
Get it?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Strategies of Success: Providence
Hi Everyone...
If you've been reading my SOS newsletters recently,you know that I was recently in Chicago, a city I fell in love with. Why? The wide streets, the lake,the flowers everywhere, the beautiful architectureold and modern, the river that runs through the city.
Today as I was driving home from a wonderful surprise birthday party for a friend of mine, I hadto take a detour because an accident was blockingmy normal way home. So I drove though the citythat I've lived ten minutes from for most of my life - Providence.
And I looked around and noticed...wide streets,the bay, flowers everywhere, the beautifularchitecture old and modern, the river that runsthrough the city. Wait a minute...that's beenhere all this time and I never truly noticed??
Yup...pretty true. I've taken it for granted...the Waterfire (waterfire.org) along our river that is trulyunique, the Tony award winning Trinity RepertoryCompany, the art along the river most likelyconnected with the renown Rhode Island Schoolof Design, college hill with Brown University,...I could go on and on...
I remember a week ago telling my Dad I'd liketo live in Chicago for month, maybe San Diego.He asked what about Vancouver and Toronto - twoof my favorite Canadian cities...and then heasked, "What about Boston?" Now I'm thinking...
What about Providence? Yes, I love my travelsbut have I really appreciated what's right in front of me? I'm not so sure I have. When weare surrounded by the familiar, our thoughts arenot on what makes them special, but on whateverelse is going on in our lives. We focus on thequickest way through, or worry about being late,or so many other necessities which we don't tend to do when we're somewhere 'special'.
What's in your life that might need another look?The people in your life...do we see what makes themspecial, or just what needs fixing? Do we seethe things we dislike about our jobs or the reasonwe wanted them in the first place? Are we alwayswishing we were somewhere else when where we areis worth truly looking at?
Look around, pay attention...appreciate...we eachhave so much more than we often realize.
Thanks Providence...lesson learned...
If you've been reading my SOS newsletters recently,you know that I was recently in Chicago, a city I fell in love with. Why? The wide streets, the lake,the flowers everywhere, the beautiful architectureold and modern, the river that runs through the city.
Today as I was driving home from a wonderful surprise birthday party for a friend of mine, I hadto take a detour because an accident was blockingmy normal way home. So I drove though the citythat I've lived ten minutes from for most of my life - Providence.
And I looked around and noticed...wide streets,the bay, flowers everywhere, the beautifularchitecture old and modern, the river that runsthrough the city. Wait a minute...that's beenhere all this time and I never truly noticed??
Yup...pretty true. I've taken it for granted...the Waterfire (waterfire.org) along our river that is trulyunique, the Tony award winning Trinity RepertoryCompany, the art along the river most likelyconnected with the renown Rhode Island Schoolof Design, college hill with Brown University,...I could go on and on...
I remember a week ago telling my Dad I'd liketo live in Chicago for month, maybe San Diego.He asked what about Vancouver and Toronto - twoof my favorite Canadian cities...and then heasked, "What about Boston?" Now I'm thinking...
What about Providence? Yes, I love my travelsbut have I really appreciated what's right in front of me? I'm not so sure I have. When weare surrounded by the familiar, our thoughts arenot on what makes them special, but on whateverelse is going on in our lives. We focus on thequickest way through, or worry about being late,or so many other necessities which we don't tend to do when we're somewhere 'special'.
What's in your life that might need another look?The people in your life...do we see what makes themspecial, or just what needs fixing? Do we seethe things we dislike about our jobs or the reasonwe wanted them in the first place? Are we alwayswishing we were somewhere else when where we areis worth truly looking at?
Look around, pay attention...appreciate...we eachhave so much more than we often realize.
Thanks Providence...lesson learned...
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Secrets of Success: Got work? Have fun!
I'm sitting at my favorite work place - PaneraBread where I can sit all day and work with freeinternet and a change of scenery from working athome.
I got up to get a free refill on my cup of teaand heard the three young women working behindthe counter laughing. I said something like,You sure know how to have fun" and they saidthey were laughing to motivate themselves todo the cleaning they had to do. I told themthat I'm in the business of motivating peopleand asked them what their secret was. They toldme that they found out what job they each likedto do best and which ones they weren't too crazy about. Then they split up the jobs soeach got to do the one they liked best and didn't have to do the one they liked least.
What a great strategy! They were laughing andhaving fun all the while really working hard(as opposed to when you see a bunch of peoplelaughing and talking while ignoring the customersand not getting much done).
It reminds me yet again that it's all about howwhat we experience in our lives is all abouthow we choose to look at it. They made a commitment to each other...saying that theyeven "pinky swore" (a serious commitment fromchildhood days) to do a good job on the taskthey were assigned to.
Nice...reminds me of when I was a teenager working in the grocery store. My friendDonna and I hated the long hours on Saturdaywhen the store was so crowded...until oneday we decided to make a contest of it. Whoever had the most money in their drawerat the end of the day won. You should haveseen us trying to get the customers intoour lane!
What's on your to do list that you could make more fun? It's your life...you get tochoose...as for me, I'm having fun watchingthose girls have fun while I'm getting my work done!
Cheers!
I got up to get a free refill on my cup of teaand heard the three young women working behindthe counter laughing. I said something like,You sure know how to have fun" and they saidthey were laughing to motivate themselves todo the cleaning they had to do. I told themthat I'm in the business of motivating peopleand asked them what their secret was. They toldme that they found out what job they each likedto do best and which ones they weren't too crazy about. Then they split up the jobs soeach got to do the one they liked best and didn't have to do the one they liked least.
What a great strategy! They were laughing andhaving fun all the while really working hard(as opposed to when you see a bunch of peoplelaughing and talking while ignoring the customersand not getting much done).
It reminds me yet again that it's all about howwhat we experience in our lives is all abouthow we choose to look at it. They made a commitment to each other...saying that theyeven "pinky swore" (a serious commitment fromchildhood days) to do a good job on the taskthey were assigned to.
Nice...reminds me of when I was a teenager working in the grocery store. My friendDonna and I hated the long hours on Saturdaywhen the store was so crowded...until oneday we decided to make a contest of it. Whoever had the most money in their drawerat the end of the day won. You should haveseen us trying to get the customers intoour lane!
What's on your to do list that you could make more fun? It's your life...you get tochoose...as for me, I'm having fun watchingthose girls have fun while I'm getting my work done!
Cheers!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Secrets of Success: Seeing things from another perspective
Hi Everyone,
Well I finally got to see one of my favorite neighborhoodsfrom the other side. I'm blessed to live in a communityon the water - beautiful Narragansett Bay in Rhode Island.Although I don't live on the water - yet - I do my daily walking there. And yesterday, I got to see it from the other side.
My brother brought his boat over to a family 4th of Julyparty and took us out into the bay past all the housesthat I often wonder about. And it got me to wondering about how often we don't get a chance to see things fromanother perspective.
* Driver cutting in front of you? What was going on atthat moment in time for them? What was the chance thatthey cut you off intentionally? Better yet, how often have we been the ones doing the cutting off?
* Family disagreement? We wonder why they can't see itour way when perhaps we should put ourselves in theirshoes to see how they might see it.
* Someone not return a text message, call, email or IM?How often do we jump to conclusions - usually negative ones - rather than putting ourselves in their livesand trying to understand why?
Two things come to mind.1.Dr. Wayne Dyer who says, "Stop looking for reasons tobe offended."
2. The activity I used to have my Strategies of Successstudents do - ask "How else could I see this?"
Next time you can't figure out why someone did what theydid, maybe it's not a bad idea to try to see it from their perspective. Things look quite different fromthere.
Well I finally got to see one of my favorite neighborhoodsfrom the other side. I'm blessed to live in a communityon the water - beautiful Narragansett Bay in Rhode Island.Although I don't live on the water - yet - I do my daily walking there. And yesterday, I got to see it from the other side.
My brother brought his boat over to a family 4th of Julyparty and took us out into the bay past all the housesthat I often wonder about. And it got me to wondering about how often we don't get a chance to see things fromanother perspective.
* Driver cutting in front of you? What was going on atthat moment in time for them? What was the chance thatthey cut you off intentionally? Better yet, how often have we been the ones doing the cutting off?
* Family disagreement? We wonder why they can't see itour way when perhaps we should put ourselves in theirshoes to see how they might see it.
* Someone not return a text message, call, email or IM?How often do we jump to conclusions - usually negative ones - rather than putting ourselves in their livesand trying to understand why?
Two things come to mind.1.Dr. Wayne Dyer who says, "Stop looking for reasons tobe offended."
2. The activity I used to have my Strategies of Successstudents do - ask "How else could I see this?"
Next time you can't figure out why someone did what theydid, maybe it's not a bad idea to try to see it from their perspective. Things look quite different fromthere.
Monday, April 16, 2007
School Violence...Again
We need solutions to this violence. There are no easy ones. It seems just yesterday that Columbine was the news and now Virginia Tech.
I don't know the details of this shooting yet...no one does. But I do know we need solutions.
I have one. I began creating it the day of Columbine. I remember saying to myself we can't lose another precious child to violence...we have to do something. That day led me on a journey to create a high school course to supply what teens are missing in their lives. It took me 2 years to research, get training and write the course. It came into being in the fall of 2001.
This course teaches kids how to respect themselves and those around them. It shows them how to build a team with the others who happen to land in the same class as them all while teaching them how they learn best, how to overcome their weaknesses and honor their strengths, how to give back and how to do the right thing for all the right reasons. Students learn all this and much more...
The course is now in its 6th year and as popular as it was from the day of its inception. It has won awards and is now a finalist in the Cable in the Classroom's Leaders in Learning Awards for 2007. It's now a book ready for any high school to adopt...
Is it the answer to all of the issues that face our schools? No, nothing is...but this works...it's been used by over 2000 students who have nothing but high praise for the impact it's had on their lives. They say, "Keep changing lives."
If you know a school that can benefit from having this program...where kids can have the ability to feel special in a world where they often feel ignored, where kids feel safe and honored, where teens get the chance to expand their comfort zone and learn the skills, manners and ethics they often miss...then please pass on this website: strategiesofsuccess.com.
Thank you...let's not lose one more precious student...please.
I don't know the details of this shooting yet...no one does. But I do know we need solutions.
I have one. I began creating it the day of Columbine. I remember saying to myself we can't lose another precious child to violence...we have to do something. That day led me on a journey to create a high school course to supply what teens are missing in their lives. It took me 2 years to research, get training and write the course. It came into being in the fall of 2001.
This course teaches kids how to respect themselves and those around them. It shows them how to build a team with the others who happen to land in the same class as them all while teaching them how they learn best, how to overcome their weaknesses and honor their strengths, how to give back and how to do the right thing for all the right reasons. Students learn all this and much more...
The course is now in its 6th year and as popular as it was from the day of its inception. It has won awards and is now a finalist in the Cable in the Classroom's Leaders in Learning Awards for 2007. It's now a book ready for any high school to adopt...
Is it the answer to all of the issues that face our schools? No, nothing is...but this works...it's been used by over 2000 students who have nothing but high praise for the impact it's had on their lives. They say, "Keep changing lives."
If you know a school that can benefit from having this program...where kids can have the ability to feel special in a world where they often feel ignored, where kids feel safe and honored, where teens get the chance to expand their comfort zone and learn the skills, manners and ethics they often miss...then please pass on this website: strategiesofsuccess.com.
Thank you...let's not lose one more precious student...please.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Strategies of Success: What about me?
I read an article today in USA today about how self-centered we've become as a society. The author was stating that people in conversations these days often just talk about themselves and never even ask a single question of the person they're talking to.
I thought about that for a bit. Have we lost the ability to think about others? Or are there other reasons?
I'm interested in other people but often have had difficulty questioning them. It always feels a bit like prying. Plus I've always been a bit shy which no one who knows me believes. I also wonder if it goes back to an event when I was about 8 years old. I had blabbed (my mother's term) to a neighbor that I couldn't have a new bike because my Dad needed a new suit. My mother was furious with me or at least it seemed that way to my 8 year old brain. She told me to keep my mouth shut. No one needed to know our business and we didn't need to know theirs.
I'm sitting by the pool in Florida pondering why people aren't as curious about each other. I'm promising myself to ask more than I currently do. An elderly gentleman who I've known for many years at this timeshare comes up and says, "Tell me about your life. Are you happy?"
Now that's a questions!
Looking to connect better with the people in your life? Don't just tell about you - ask them about their lives. You'll be glad you did!
I thought about that for a bit. Have we lost the ability to think about others? Or are there other reasons?
I'm interested in other people but often have had difficulty questioning them. It always feels a bit like prying. Plus I've always been a bit shy which no one who knows me believes. I also wonder if it goes back to an event when I was about 8 years old. I had blabbed (my mother's term) to a neighbor that I couldn't have a new bike because my Dad needed a new suit. My mother was furious with me or at least it seemed that way to my 8 year old brain. She told me to keep my mouth shut. No one needed to know our business and we didn't need to know theirs.
I'm sitting by the pool in Florida pondering why people aren't as curious about each other. I'm promising myself to ask more than I currently do. An elderly gentleman who I've known for many years at this timeshare comes up and says, "Tell me about your life. Are you happy?"
Now that's a questions!
Looking to connect better with the people in your life? Don't just tell about you - ask them about their lives. You'll be glad you did!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Strategies of Success: Being in the moment
Are you living in the moment? Or are you spending your time wishing you were somewhere else? How about being in that place you always wanted to be and yet still not really being there?
What's this all about?
I'm a big baseball fan. My team? The Boston Red Sox. So here I am in Florida where for the first time I get to go to spring training. What did I catch myself doing while I was watching my favorite players? Going through my pictures and text messages in my cell phone! Yikes!
Good news is that I caught myself before the whole experience was over. After all the years that I couldn't come here because I was in school, after missing them the first year I had tickets because my Dad had surgery, after last year when I arrived and missed them by an hour - here I was not watching them and enjoying the environment but playing with my cell phone!!
What's going on? Technology addiction? Or was it the habit of not truly living in the moment?
How many times have we missed truly being with the people we love because we'e paying more attention to our cell phone, blackberry, laptop or TV?
How often do we miss the beauty around us because we've thinking of things we need to do or things we wish we had done better?
I can't speak for you but as for me, it's time to quiet the technology except for when it's truly necessary. Time to savor where I am and who I'm with. I don't ever get this time back. Do I want to look back and say, remember that trip where I was online or on the phone all the time?
For right now, time to put down my pen and look out at the beautiful Gulf of Mexico which I'm blessed to have right in front of me. Now that's a moment to be in!
What's this all about?
I'm a big baseball fan. My team? The Boston Red Sox. So here I am in Florida where for the first time I get to go to spring training. What did I catch myself doing while I was watching my favorite players? Going through my pictures and text messages in my cell phone! Yikes!
Good news is that I caught myself before the whole experience was over. After all the years that I couldn't come here because I was in school, after missing them the first year I had tickets because my Dad had surgery, after last year when I arrived and missed them by an hour - here I was not watching them and enjoying the environment but playing with my cell phone!!
What's going on? Technology addiction? Or was it the habit of not truly living in the moment?
How many times have we missed truly being with the people we love because we'e paying more attention to our cell phone, blackberry, laptop or TV?
How often do we miss the beauty around us because we've thinking of things we need to do or things we wish we had done better?
I can't speak for you but as for me, it's time to quiet the technology except for when it's truly necessary. Time to savor where I am and who I'm with. I don't ever get this time back. Do I want to look back and say, remember that trip where I was online or on the phone all the time?
For right now, time to put down my pen and look out at the beautiful Gulf of Mexico which I'm blessed to have right in front of me. Now that's a moment to be in!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Strategies of Success: Stranded on a plane for 11 hours!!
Jet Passengers Stranded on Icy Tarmac for 11 Hours
Traveling soon? Are you fully prepared for this?
"NEW YORK (Feb. 15) - JetBlue Airways Corp. tried to calm a maelstrom of criticism Thursday, after passengers were left waiting on planes at a New ork airport for as long as 11 hours during a snow and ice storm." AP News as seen in AOL news
Would you have had enough to do to keep you occupied?
While no one expects to be stuck on a plane for as long as 11 hours, winter weather certainly canmake travel troublesome.
Whether you're trapped on a plane or stuck at an airport waiting for that very same plane, youneed to have plenty to do to pass the time andrelieve the boredom not only for you but for therest of your traveling party.
As the title of this blog says, I'm the Strategies person...the one always looking forthe 'Secret of Success" in a situation. I am constantly on the lookout for solutions. This timeI actually created my own.
Check out my Travel Activity Book athttp://www.travelactivitybook.com
It's ready to download, print and stuff into yourluggage for the trip you may be just abut to take.
It's even ready to go if you're not traveling butmaybe stuck in the 8+ feet of snow in upstateNew York or wherever you may be.
It was designed to ease both boredom and stress and or course, I made it so that you'd enjoy the processas well.
Want to learn more...http://www.travelactivitybook.com
Traveling soon? Are you fully prepared for this?
"NEW YORK (Feb. 15) - JetBlue Airways Corp. tried to calm a maelstrom of criticism Thursday, after passengers were left waiting on planes at a New ork airport for as long as 11 hours during a snow and ice storm." AP News as seen in AOL news
Would you have had enough to do to keep you occupied?
While no one expects to be stuck on a plane for as long as 11 hours, winter weather certainly canmake travel troublesome.
Whether you're trapped on a plane or stuck at an airport waiting for that very same plane, youneed to have plenty to do to pass the time andrelieve the boredom not only for you but for therest of your traveling party.
As the title of this blog says, I'm the Strategies person...the one always looking forthe 'Secret of Success" in a situation. I am constantly on the lookout for solutions. This timeI actually created my own.
Check out my Travel Activity Book athttp://www.travelactivitybook.com
It's ready to download, print and stuff into yourluggage for the trip you may be just abut to take.
It's even ready to go if you're not traveling butmaybe stuck in the 8+ feet of snow in upstateNew York or wherever you may be.
It was designed to ease both boredom and stress and or course, I made it so that you'd enjoy the processas well.
Want to learn more...http://www.travelactivitybook.com
Why this book?
- requires no batteries
- you'll have it ready to go minutes after purchase
- good for all but the youngest family members
- can be used over and over again
- can be printed out on most home or office printers
- inexpenisve - only $9.95* includes free bonus travel tips
- it's fun to do
Feel free to pass this on!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Strategies of Success; Valentine's Day
“If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you so that you could see how truly special you are.”
This entry is from a daily sheet I would give my students on Valentine's Day. I thought it was worth sharing with all of you since when it somes to romance, we're all kids at heart!
**************************************
Some thoughts on Valentine’s Day
For those of you that have a special Valentine, be sure to use their best style to show them you care. If they’re visual – make sure you give them something they can see – a gift and a card. If they’re auditory – make sure you tell them how you feel about them. If they’re kinesthetic – make sure you hug them or hold their hand so they’ll feel how you care for them.
For those of you who don’t currently have a special someone, Valentine’s day can seem difficult. Just because you don’t currently have a special Valentine does not mean someone special doesn’t care about you. You might not have found out yet. Maybe they’re too shy to let you know.
This might be a good time to imagine what you want that special person to be like. Many people have found the person of their dreams by writing their vision. Maybe you could use this Valentine’s Day to describe in detail all the qualities you’d like and wouldn’t like in the person who will someday share your life.
Another thing to consider. It might be better being on your own than being in a bad relationship. Spend the day focusing on who you have in your life rather than who you don’t have.
This might be a good time to remember how strong we really are and how much we appreciate all the people in our lives, not just our sweetheart. Take a minute today to tell the people in your life how much you care about them and how lucky you are that they are in your life. This might include your parents, your brothers and sisters, your grandparents, your friends, maybe even your teachers?
How about the people in the military? Maybe it’s a good day to write a letter to soldier. Give it a try…I can promise you it will change your day in ways you can’t even imagine!
And have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
This entry is from a daily sheet I would give my students on Valentine's Day. I thought it was worth sharing with all of you since when it somes to romance, we're all kids at heart!
**************************************
Some thoughts on Valentine’s Day
For those of you that have a special Valentine, be sure to use their best style to show them you care. If they’re visual – make sure you give them something they can see – a gift and a card. If they’re auditory – make sure you tell them how you feel about them. If they’re kinesthetic – make sure you hug them or hold their hand so they’ll feel how you care for them.
For those of you who don’t currently have a special someone, Valentine’s day can seem difficult. Just because you don’t currently have a special Valentine does not mean someone special doesn’t care about you. You might not have found out yet. Maybe they’re too shy to let you know.
This might be a good time to imagine what you want that special person to be like. Many people have found the person of their dreams by writing their vision. Maybe you could use this Valentine’s Day to describe in detail all the qualities you’d like and wouldn’t like in the person who will someday share your life.
Another thing to consider. It might be better being on your own than being in a bad relationship. Spend the day focusing on who you have in your life rather than who you don’t have.
This might be a good time to remember how strong we really are and how much we appreciate all the people in our lives, not just our sweetheart. Take a minute today to tell the people in your life how much you care about them and how lucky you are that they are in your life. This might include your parents, your brothers and sisters, your grandparents, your friends, maybe even your teachers?
How about the people in the military? Maybe it’s a good day to write a letter to soldier. Give it a try…I can promise you it will change your day in ways you can’t even imagine!
And have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
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